Tuna safe tuna salad

Dolphins are great and all, but have you ever seen a living, swimming tuna? They’re bloody amazing.

• 3 cups cooked, drained chick-peas
• several spoonfuls of mayo-like substance
• 1 stalk minced celery
• 1 T nutritional yeast flakes
• 2 green onions, chopped
• 2 tsp soy sauce
• 1 teaspoon kelp powder (for that authentic “from the sea” flavor)
• kosher salt & fresh pepper, to taste

Mash up the chick peas; they deserve it. Seriously, take out all of your aggression on these bastards. Throw everything else in the bowl. Stir. Eat. Delicious.